


An end to a lifetime of lies

by theflyingdalek



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: M/M, i feel like this fic has been writing itself in my brain for years and years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-23 05:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/618706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyingdalek/pseuds/theflyingdalek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So what would you say if I told you that if you spend the evening here to recover, in the morning you can leave on your own accord?" Valjean asked, "Back to the Seine, if you so wish."</p><p>Javert squinted at his nemesis, as if weighing everything he knew about the man in his mind before answering.</p><p>"I would say that you were lying to me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I shouldn't have put it past you", Javert finally sighed.

Jean Valjean let out a small sigh of relief. He had been getting worried. Ever since he dove into the Seine after the suicidal Inspector, the man hadn't said a word. Valjean had to drag the inspector up a flight of stairs and into his rooms and change him out of his freezing wet clothing, as the inspector had been stuck in some frozen trance.

"Put what past me, Inspector?", Valjean asked.

"It figures that since your daughter is to be married off, you would need to find another case to unleash your pity upon."

Jean Valjean simply smiled and shook his head.

"You have always found it hard to understand me, Inspector."

"I do not believe that I have ever properly understood you. Anyway, I will not stay here, Valjean", Javert went on. "I will leave as soon as I get warm enough to walk."

Although Jean Valjean had bundled the inspector up in all of the blankets that he could find, the man was still shivering. Valjean himself had quite the chilly swim in the Seine, but he suspected that some of Javert's shivering was due to shock and not the cold.

"You will not be well enough to leave for a while, Inspector", Valjean noted.

"I will be soon, Valjean", Javert protested, "And there is no point in you calling me 'Inspector' anymore. I resigned."

"You _what_?", Valjean exclaimed.

"I wasn't expecting to report back to the office after my demise, Valjean", Javert drawled, "It would be irresponsible of me to not let them know that I would not be going in."

It was almost impossible to imagine the man that was sitting in front of Valjean to be anything other than his post. Even in observing Javert's attempt at death, Valjean was certain that the attempt was some sort of attempt at butchered yet righteous-seeming justice.

"I can't really imagine you without your post", Valjean admitted.

"I can't either", Javert agreed. "Again, thank you for the dry clothes. I am sorry that I will not be able to pay you back. I will be off soon now."

Jean Valjean didn't even acknowledge that Javert had said anything. Valjean simply walked over to the small stove and filled a cup with steaming tea and placed it in front of Javert, who accepted it. Javert was nothing if not well trained.

"So what would you say if I told you that if you spend the evening here to recover, in the morning you can leave on your own accord?" Valjean asked, "Back to the Seine, if you so wish."

Javert squinted at his nemesis, as if weighing everything he knew about the man in his mind before answering.

"I would say that you were lying to me."

Valjean chuckled.

"You would be quite right then, Javert. I don't have too much trouble with lying, but I do have trouble with letting you go out and trying to kill yourself."

"Some would say that you have no honor", Javert grumbled.

"Well, I don't tend to listen to other people's judgment", Valjean replied with a twinkle in his eye.

"I've noticed", Javert commented dryly, finishing the last of his tea.

Jean Valjean puttered around the room, looking through cabinets and scrounging up things to eat. Valjean found some bread and cheese and set in on a plate and pushed it in front of Javert.

"Eat."

Valjean poured some ale for both of them.

"Where did you get the ale?", Javert asked, mostly to fill the silence.

"I live above a tavern."

They sat in silence for a bit longer.

Javert nodded and expressed his thanks. 

"For the ale?", Valjean asked teasingly.

Javert had the urge (not for the first time) to strike the man. 

"For..."

Javert seemed to lose his usual ability to say what he thought. Perhaps, he did not know what he thought. That would be rather new as well.

"Why did you jump off that bridge?"

The question jarred Javert out of his train of thought. Javert took a deep breath. He had been wondering how long Valjean would last before asking the question that surely had been plaguing his mind since the moment Valjean had seen him jump.

"I don't think you would understand", he replied honestly.

But Valjean would not be deterred.

"Try me."

"That thing you did. Letting me go. I could only draw two conclusions from that act."

Javert paused for a while, taking his time as he sipped from his cup of ale. Valjean waited patiently.

"Either I have been correct my entire life, or I have been wrong. If I had been correct, then you are simply a thief and convict, but I let you go anyway. If I had been wrong, then you are a good man, and I have spent my life searching for you and treating you like a subhuman person. Both faults are punishable by death."

Javert looked down at the table as if waiting for Valjean to catch on and throw him out back into the Seine. His throat burned a little, but he dared not reach for the ale. After a long moment of silence, Javert couldn't stand the suspense any longer and looked up at Jean Valjean. The man did not look angry or even judgmental, he simply looked sad.

"You really believe that", Valjean said, looking torn.

"With everything in my soul."

Jean Valjean looked as if he were about to say something but thought better of it. He sat for a while, looking down at his calloused hands, before opening his mouth again.

"I used to think I didn't have a soul.", Valjean muttered.

"I used to think you didn't have a soul too."

At least that brought a smile back to Valjean's face, even if it seemed a bit strained. It was strange, for some reason, Javert didn't want to be the one who wiped the smile off of Valjean's face. Not anymore.

The church bell tolled.

"You should rest", Valjean stated, shaking his head as if he had been in some sort of a trance.

"You should rest as well, Valjean. You've done far more than I have today."

Suddenly, Jean Valjean looked incredibly weary.

"You can take the bed tonight, Inspector. I have some letters to write."

Javert wanted to protest, but seeing the look on Valjean's face made him retract that urge. He simply nodded and walked over to Valjean's bed. As he lay down though, he turned around to address his host.

"I will be leaving tomorrow morning, Valjean."

"Goodnight, Inspector."


	2. Chapter 2

Javert woke up to an empty room. He sat up too quickly and thus, became quite dizzy. Once he felt alright again, he looked about the room, but Valjean was nowhere in sight.

Javert had half the mind to leave, but he really couldn't go without saying thank you and goodbye to Valjean. It wouldn't be fair to the man.

Suddenly, as if God had been answering his somewhat prayer, there was a knock on the door.

"Javert?", a man's voice whispered.

Javert recognized Valjean's voice.

"Yes, Valjean, what is it?"

The door swung open and Valjean stuck his head in.

"I was wondering if you were awake."

Javert waved in the vague direction of his body.

"I'm awake."

Valjean smiled as if Javert had said a very funny joke. He walked in with a tray laden with food.

"I wasn't sure what you would eat, so I brought whatever I could find", Valjean said with a grin. 

Javert huffed a bit. What right did Valjean have to be so unnecessarily thoughtful? It made it all that much harder to hold even the slightest bit of resentment towards the man. 

Valjean placed the tray on the table and grabbed two plates from the cupboards before sitting down and gesturing that Javert should join him.

"I think that even you will have trouble saying that I am not well enough to take my leave today", Javert noted.

Jean Valjean replied with a smile.

"Just because you're feeling better, Javert, does not mean that you are well."

Javert answered with an undignified snort, which seemed to make Valjean's smile wider.

"Anyway, I would think that you would want to make some sort of deal", Valjean commented with a smile.

Javert was curious. What sort of deal would Valjean think that Javert would take part in?

"If you didn't mind striking a deal with a thief", Valjean added with a wink.

Javert couldn't help but smile in exasperation.

"Will you tell me what is on your mind or not?"

"I'm sure that many years of you... hunting me"

Javert was about to protest, but Valjean waved his hand impatiently.

"I didn't mean it like that. What I mean is, don't you have questions that you've always wanted to ask me?"

Javert wasn't quite sure what he had been expecting, but it certainly was not _that_. He thought about it for a while. Valjean was right. After searching for the man for so many years, Javert felt as though he almost knew him, but he really did fail to understand him. There were so many times when Valjean would do something so out of the blue, so strange, that Javert could not help but to wonder why.

"Alright, if I get to ask questions, what do you get?", Javert asked suspiciously.

Valjean's face lit up once he noticed that Javert might be interested.

"I'll ask you a question back of course!"

Javert was positive that Valjean was simply using this question game to stall Javert in his quest to leave, but Javert had to admit, it was a brilliant plan. It was an offer that he really couldn't turn down. Even though he had resigned from the force, he was still an Inspector at heart, and he still needed answers.

"Fine. We will play this stupid game of yours, Valjean."

"You can go first", Valjean offered graciously.

Javert didn't even need to think before asking his first question.

"Why did you go after the girl?"

Valjean seemed a little stunned at the sudden interrogation. After blinking dumbly for a while, Valjean regained his lucidity.

"Who, Cosette?"

"Yes, your daughter", Javert replied, "Or the daughter of that prostitute, Fantine."

Valjean looked surprised.

"You still remember her name."

"I don't forget things easily, Jean Valjean.", Javert clucked.

"Somehow", Valjean laughed, "I knew that."

"I went to gather her because she was in need and I was the only one who was going to help her.", he answered simply.

Javert frowned. It was not exactly the kind of answer that he was looking for, but he could tell that he was going to get nothing else from Valjean about that topic. 

Javert nodded to let Valjean know that it was his turn.

"Why did you go search for the girl to find me?", Valjean asked, "You thought I was a convict. You probably thought that I was using Fantine as a sob story so I could make my getaway. Why would you think that I would go get Cosette?"

Javert furrowed his eyebrows.

"It seems that even back then, I could predict how you would behave somewhat."

It was an interesting question that Valjean had every right to ask. It surprised Javert that he hadn't thought about it sooner? How _did_ he know that Valjean would go back for the little girl. He hadn't. He was actually pretty sure that he had expressly said that Valjean would simply disappear. But somehow, he had known.

Valjean hummed contentedly at the pause in speaking. Javert looked up and asked his next question.

"Why did you keep the girl?", Javert asked, "Cossette? Why not just drop her off with trustworthy people and some money? Why raise her as your own?"

Valjean sighed softly. It wasn't a frustrated sigh, so Javert wasn't worried that Valjean was upset. It was a bit sad, but happy at the same time. Javert thought to himself that Valjean's mind must be very complicated indeed. What the sigh did say, though, was that the answer might take a while to say.

Valjean, on the other hand, was thinking about how to phrase in words how he felt about Cosette the day that he had found her. How the little girl had simply fallen asleep in his arms, without knowing who he was or where he was from, without even caring. He had simply been the man who had taken her from the Thenardiers, and that was enough. How could he tell Javert about the next morning, when she woke up in a fright, apologizing by habit to her mistress that was no longer there and asking for her broom?

"You followed me to that inn, did you not?", Valjean asked.

Javert nodded.

"You've met the Thenardiers. You've seen what kind of people they are. They had Cosette working for them! Hard work! Fetching pails of water in the cold woods by her lonesome, wearing little more than a rag dress!", Valjean exclaimed, as if remembering that he was still angry.

Javert wasn't convinced.

"You could have found her a better home, though. You didn't have to become a father. _Why_?"

Valjean stood up and walked over to the stove, putting the kettle on. For a moment, Javert thought that he might not get an answer at all, but then Valjean turned around.

"She needed someone to love her. And I needed someone to believe in me."

They sat in silence as they ate the spread that Valjean had brought up. When the kettle whistled, Javert was the one who prepared the tea this time. 

Javert wasn't quite sure, but they seemed to have an unspoken agreement to put the game on pause for a little while. So Javert did what he could do. He tidied up. He clucked at Valjean's lack of orderliness. He washed the dishes and made sure everything was as close to spotless as a room at an inn could get before he sat down and looked back at Jean Valjean expectantly.


	3. Chapter 3

Jean Valjean took less time to recover than Javert had been expecting. Then again, Javert was never very good at understanding the man sitting in front of him. 

Valjean grinned and took a deep breath.

"My turn now, Javert. When was the moment you decided that you needed to die?"

Javert looked up from his folded hands sharply. Valjean was no longer smiling. Instead, he was watching Javert with a very constructed neutral expression.

Javert didn't know how to react.

"I don't know", he replied lamely.

"Surely you knew at some moment before you actually jumped..", Valjean protested.

"I knew the moment I let you go, that I was sealing my own fate!", Javert shouted before Valjean could go on.

Valjean frowned but waited as Javert put his mind in order. Javert sat in defiant silence for a while, silently challenging Valjean to interrupt him before he was ready to speak, but Valjean didn't make a sound. It was almost humerous, the man who always seemed to be asking for three more days, one more hour, was very liberal with his time. 

"Actually", Javert began with a sigh," I believe that you may have sealed my fate when you let me go at the barricades."

Jean Valjean's frown deepened and the little lines on his brow crinkled even more. It was strange to think that Ex-Convict 24601 looked so thoroughly unsettled by the thought that he had anything to do with the possible death of the famed Inspector Javert. Well, Ex-Inspector anyway.

"I don't mean to put the blame on you, Valjean", Javert added.

Valjean didn't seemed any more at ease, but just as well, since until very recently, Javert had mentally laid all the blame on his nemesis. That man who was simultaneously his savior and his sworn enemy. That first man who had ever instilled a sense of doubt in Javert's stone-cold irreproachability. 

"It wasn't anything wrong that you did there, Valjean", Javert sighed. "Even in your ridiculous ideas of morality, you could have either killed me yourself or let me go. In your books, you did the right thing."

"What about in your books?", Valjean asked softly.

Javert paused for a moment.

"Our laws of morality are quite different, Valjean", Javert conceded. "At the time, I thought you had lost your mind. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. I expected you to take the path that you deserved. When you let me go, I thought that you would live to regret it. But I quickly realized that it would be me who would be mentally thrown off by your actions."

Javert thought that now would be a great time for Valjean to stand up and muss around with a kettle or some plates, but the cups in front of them were full, and there was nothing really that Valjean could do. Valjean looked around helplessly as if he were coming to the same conclusion. 

Oh well, Javert had faced worse than tough questions before. And Javert was through with running away from questions.

"When you came back to kill me, I knew that you would let me go", Javert admitted quietly.

Valjean's eyes shot up to meet Javert's in surprise.

"But you acted... you spoke as if..."

Javert fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"I know how I acted and spoke. I was terrified though. I had seen you in many different positions before, taking care of Fantine, raising Cosette, donating to the poor, but I had never seen you in a position like this. I think I hoped that you would just get it all over with and kill me."

Valjean started in surprise, as if he had remembered something.

"You tried to warn me!", he exclaimed excitedly.

Merde.

"You said, 'Valjean take care, I'm warning you'", Valjean accused.

"You take my words and you make them sound... less brash", Javert commented dryly.

Less like Javert and more like Valjean.

"Those were your words though", Valjean answered.

Yes they were.

"I knew what you were going to do", Javert reminded, "I think I was trying to trick you into being the kind of man that I hoped you would be. When you cut my bonds, I knew that you weren't trying to bargain for your life back. No thief would be stupid enough to cut the bonds before striking the deal, anyway. "

Not that Valjean was the cleverest thief, but still.

Javert stopped for a while and chewed on a bit of toast.

"Maybe I was trying to save you", Javert mused, "I knew that if you set me free, I would have to go after you. If you had tried to strike that deal, I would have been able to die knowing that I died trying to put a guilty man back into prison. But if you set me free, what choice would I have but to follow you?"

"But you ended up letting me go anyway", Valjean pointed out.

"Well, you had that wretched boy, Marius, with you", Javert shot back.

"Would you have let me go if he wasn't?"

The silence that followed the question seemed a bit jarring after all of the talking that had filled the air for the past minute or so.

Javert didn't enjoy lying. He didn't have the talent for it. When he went undercover, it was different, as he was speaking through a different persona. When it was just him though, he usually resorted to the truth. He decided to do so again.

"Yes. I would have let you go."

Javert was amused; he had never seen Jean Valjean so surprised before. The man almost looked like he was about to sputter.

It took a while for Jean Valjean to regain his normal tranquil appearance, but to Javert's dismay, Valjean's expression had changed from one of shock to one of awe.

"Oh no", Javert protested, "I will not permit you to project your feelings of goodwill and such onto my actions! The shame!"

And of course this was when Valjean thought it appropriate to begin chuckling again.

"Most men enjoy flaunting their good deeds in the public", Valjean laughed, "but the esteemed Javert will not even admit his deeds to himself and an old friend."

Old friend. Valjean had not even called them former enemies. Strange. Javert looked upon the man in front of him. In another life, Javert expected that he and Valjean could have had some sort of semblance of a friendship. Well, when Valjean had been Monsieur Madeleine, Javert found himself respecting the man in some ways. Distrusting him in others, but still, it was more than most people received in Javert's book.

"It is not a good deed, Valjean. It was a concession. An admittance of defeat", Javert disagreed.  
But nothing would put out the newly lit flame of Valjean's renewed insistence that Javert was _truly a good man_. Javert put his head in his hands and wondered what he had gotten himself into, and if this conversation itself was the real admittance of defeat.

Valjean cleared his throat, pulling Javert out of his head.

"Yes?", Javert asked, realizing that he had not heard something that Valjean had said.

"I was just reminding you that it is your turn."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually had a lot of fun with this fic. I'm so pleased that some of you seem to have enjoyed it!

Javert had intended to ask a host of questions about Jean Valjean's views on religion and God and morality and law and forgiveness, but when he opened his mouth, a different sort of question came out.

"Why were you at that bridge when I jumped?"

Funny how a question one avoids tends to make itself known against one's will.

"You're not going to ask why I went after you?", Valjean asked.

Javert waved his hand impatiently.

"I know _why_ you jumped, even if I don't quite understand. You jumped because of your ridiculous utopian sense of morality. What I _don't_ know is why you were there in the first place."

"I was following you, of course", Valjean answered with a shameless smile.

Javert met Valjean's smile with a frown.

"You were supposed to be seeing that _boy_ to safety", Javert reminded.

"I already did by then, and what is your grievance against Marius anyway?"

Javert strongly suspected that the ill will that he had been wishing towards the ex-revolutionary might have had something to do with the fact that the boy had taken away Jean Valjean's only source of happiness. But he would rather take another dive into the Seine before admitting that aloud or to himself. 

"So you dropped the boy off at a hospital, and then you figured that it would be a great idea to track me down and follow me around Paris?", Javert asked incredulously.

"Do you realize that you tend to make me sound like a madman?", Valjean chuckled.

You are a madman, Javert thought.

"You didn't answer my question", Javert pointed out.

"I was worried about you."

"Why?"

"And of course the Inspector must always wonder _why_ ", Valjean teased.

 _Ex-Inspector_ , Javert corrected in his mind. 

" _You're_ the one who proposed this game of questions, Valjean. I do not intend to let you off too easily."

"I should hope not."

"So why did you follow me?"

"You're not going to like it", Valjean admitted after a rather long pause.

"You can't give up before you at least make an attempt, Valjean", Javert tutted.

"I'm going to say this in the gentlest way that I can, and I still fear that you might take offense...", Valjean began.

Javert made an impatient noise.

"I have hope for you."

Javert snorted.

" _Hope_. You must excuse me, Monsieur, I tend to not pick up when people are attempting to be facetious."

What a funny turn of events it was when Valjean began to look indignant. 

"I hope you do not take offense at what I say, sir", Javert added mockingly.

"You really believe yourself to be beyond hope?", Valjean asked disbelievingly.

"Quite."

Jean Valjean sat in silence for a while, deep in thought. Javert was just about to doze off when Valjean began to speak.

"I have found some fault in your logic. The logic that you say drew you to jump off that bridge. If I truly have changed..."

"I think we can both agree that you have", Javert interrupted somewhat morosely.

"Then there must be a God out there that is merciful. A God who wouldn't punish you for doing what you believed to be correct at the time.", Valjean went on.

Javert nodded slowly, following the train of thought, yet not quite agreeing.  
"And if you were right back then, and I am a bad man, then you did what you could before honor took over and forced you to repay a debt. You did not let me go because you were lazy, malicious, or greedy. You let me go because you believed what you were doing to be right. No God could punish you for that either."

Javert still looked unconvinced, so Valjean tried another approach.

"It is my turn for a question. How about this? Why did you offer yourself up for punishment?", Valjean asked.

"What?"

"That time, when I was still the mayor, and you believed that you had falsely accused me, in your own mind. You confessed, although no one could possibly know or ever find out about the slight. Why did you offer yourself up for punishment?", Valjean demanded excitedly.

"I believed that I was in the wrong. The law has no leeway. Not even for officers." Javert declared, "I believed that then."

"See? You are an honorable man. You hold yourself to the same righteous standards that you hold everyone else to. Perhaps it is your standards that are a little too high. You expect men to do what they are not always capable of doing.", Valjean declared, "Do you believe that the law has leeway now?"

"I don't know what I believe."

Valjean hummed contentedly as Javert stifled a treacherous yawn.

"Oh goodness! I did not realize it was already late afternoon!", Valjean exclaimed, "You should rest!"

Valjean hurried to usher Javert to the small bed.

"I'm not a child, Valjean!", Javert protested. "Anyway, I have one more question."

Jean Valjean waited.

"Why would you make a promise you knew you couldn't keep?"

Valjean looked confused.

"That night, when Fantine died. You promised her that you would raise her child. You swore it, even though I was right there, ready to arrest you. Why?"

"I had hope for you.", Valjean repeated.

Javert made a frustrated noise.

"You and your benevolent hope", Javert snarled without contempt.

"I believed in you then as I believe in you now", Valjean stated calmly.

But Valjean's ever tranquil voice stirred up anger in Javert's heart.

"Your endless attempts to turn me into a man like you are futile, Valjean. You have taken on an fool's errand", Javert spat.

The words came out harsher than he had intended. Javert had to suppress a wince at his own biting tone, but Valjean didn't even flinch.

"I would never try to change you, Javert. Even if I believed it were possible."

Javert looked up to meet Jean Valjean's eyes and saw nothing but earnest honesty. Valjean walked over and leaned in to press a light kiss to Javert's temple.

Javert froze as a million thoughts flew through his mind, only to be interrupted by Jean Valjean's voice.

"We can finish our game of questions later", Valjean promised, not sensing that anything was out of place.

Javert very cautiously looked up at the frighteningly dangerous man in front of him. This man who had challenged and destroyed everything he had ever believed in. His code. This man who had driven him to near death and fished him out of the dangerous waters again. This man who had _hope_ for the son of a gypsy. Hope for a man who had nearly ruined his life.

"Don't think that I will spare you the difficult ones, just because you're.... you.", Javert grumbled in return.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"I'll still be leaving tomorrow", Javert added, but even he could hear the lack of conviction in his voice.

"Sleep well, Javert."


End file.
